Snacks
People! Summer is almost upon us which means you are going to go down to the ooocean hon. When one goes down the ocean or wherever else you take your shirt off, your beach body is preferably in tip top shape.
I’ll clue you in on something, weight-loss is really all about the food you eat not really about the exercise. In order to burn off a slice of pizza you have to do a shit ton of working out. Versus if you just eat healthier, you avoid said horrendous required work out. But eating healthy can be boring, and boredom ultimately leads you to the crack of the food world, SNACKS!
If you’re eating unhealthy snacks, no matter how healthy the rest of your meals are you probably will not have much luck reaching your goals.
Snacks are definitely a thing that seems more unique to the Western/American world than the foreign Eastern world. We Middle Easterners are not huge on snacks, typically we just eat our meal and that’s that (with exceptions of course). A snack that many people, including Middle Easterners, do indulge in is NUTS!
Nuts should be a go-to for you if you want a healthy snack around the house that doesn’t taste like ass. They are typically high in unsaturated fats (those are the ones that are good for you), so that means they’ll be filling and slow to digest in your body keeping you satisfied longer. Don’t go pounding these as they are still calorically dense, but a handful of nuts will keep you feeling satisfied (try reading that out loud without laughing like a little schoolgirl).
But beware, the road to healthy nut snacks (HAHA!) is laden with traps and false advertisement. When buying said healthy nut snacks, be on the lookout for nuts that are coated with sugar or lots of salt. The best way to avoid them is to just make some roasted nuts at home. It’s relatively easy just buy the nuts in the raw form from the bulk section at your grocery store and roast them in the oven.
Here’s a healthy recipe to make bacon fat cashews.
Next up in the snack repertoire is protein or meat snacks. So what’s a meat snack? These can fall into two categories, jerky and non-jerky. Jerky is coming back with all sorts of hipster jerkys coming out of the ying yang as my Dad would say. This ancient snack is high in protein and very healthy (when done properly). But just like nuts can be dangerous, jerky can be equally misleading. When buying your jerky look at how much sugar is being used in each serving, you don’t want to be eating the equivalent of tablespoons of sugar with each serving of jerky you buy. Also look out for harmful coloring agents and otherwise weird ingredients in your jerky before you buy it.
Now the non-jerky world of meat snacks, I love to buy deli-meat (preferably nitrate-nitrite free) and just eat a slice or two as a snack when I’m hungry. Smoked turkey or ham is a great quick snack that will satisfy your hanger better than any candy or cheese would. If deli meats aren’t your jam, try hard boiling some eggs. They keep for at least 5 days in your fridge and make for a quick and easy snack that will also bring about the hilarity of farts later! (if you overcook your eggs they’re more likely to give you gas, you don’t want to cook your eggs for more than 16-17 minutes)
So we’ve reached the most difficult snack of them all, sweets. Sweet snacks can quickly spiral into a in-depth conversation with a bag of Oreos if you’re not careful. And I know I know, you’re having it with milk, it may as well be a vitamin. But my friends, let’s not kid ourselves milk and cookies should not actually be a snack. If you’re jonesing for something sweet I recommend going the healthy route and choosing everyone’s least favorite team, fruit. Yes, fruit, we all know it’s there and yes we all hate the idea of it. But we don’t actually hate it once we’re eating it. It’s probably because fruit has a built in wrapper that makes it less than ideal for quick binge eating.
But fruit can be every bit as satisfying as a cookie when done right. Who I am kidding, I’m completely lying to you here on this one. Basically, nothing is going to beat a damn cookie, but if you don’t want to be a fat fat boy your whole life you will need to make a change.
So out of the fruits, which ones has any potential? Let’s examine further.
Apples- pair them with some peanut butter and you have yourself a legitimate treat.
Bananas – pair them with some peanut butter and you have yourself a legitimate treat.
Whoops.
I think the first thing we’ve learned is fruit paired with peanut butter can be delicious and healthy (when done in moderation).
Another trick is to buy pre-cut fruit. I know I know, pre-cut fruit is the devil and you’re throwing your money down the shitter. When was the last time you felt like cutting or peeling anything? If someone stood in front of me and asked for 5 bucks I’d probably give it to them anyways, so why continue on with the charade that I’m going to cut a pineapple. Pre-cut fruit is better than no fruit at all, so tell anyone who gives you grief about it to F off.
My final fruit snack is a life hack of sorts. It’s banana ice cream.
It’s just frozen bananas, but something unholy happens when you food process a banana for like 5 minutes. It basically becomes ice cream I don’t know how, but it just does. Use this recipe and you’ll thank me later.
That concludes our exploration of healthy snacks. So if you find yourself staring down the barrel of a sleeve of Oreo cookies. Just remember, healthier options are available if you want them. If not, that’s cool, you do you.
Until next time folks.
